2010, My Learning Experience.......

Learning experience?  Is that what I had this year?  But that is what life is about, experience.  2010 was the year of life on my own again, and it has been a very long time since I have been alone, 23 years.  It was the year of Facebook, something that created an entire new part of life for myself.  I found that I was really lousy with money, at first.  Also that my body seems to really like to get surgery.  Most of all, it was a year I found out that I am more normal than I thought.


When I was asked for a divorce, it should have come as no surprise.  But complacency is what comes from too much happiness.  No, I am not the type to think that life is suffering, that is bullshit.  As little as I understand what changes people in their lives and choices, I know that life is experience.  I was about to experience what over 50% of the country goes through and the only comforting thought was that over 50% of this country has gone through this crap.

At least in the beginning.  The more I experienced, the more I realized that I was going to be okay.  Not necessarily a bed of rose petals, but I am always the first person to think about putting myself in another's shoes....and right now, as much as I may not want to be alone, I know that things could be much much worse for me.  And not in a, "Well, I could have been born in Haiti" kind of thing.  I see people very close, people who are not the types to deserve to be struggling, scraping along with no security belt under them, and a country that you really have had some very good timing to be doing well right now.

I am right there in the middle, lucky to have my pension, not rich, not broke.  Another thing I have learned:  How to be frugal and not be totally without.  This was tough at first, and now I am finally getting good at it.  As I was very used to my DINK status, I started the year living more or less how I wanted.  Living in San Francisco, it is easy to spend too much on food or anything. So it was hard to keep going to the Ferry Plaza or out to my favorite restaurants, knowing that I would easily blow 50 bucks on great food.  But I could not afford a 20 dollar a pound organic rib-eye at Golden Gate Meats anymore. Fortunately for me, I am living in food paradise.  The local farmer's markets are all good deals and are open year round.  That was the easy part.  The financial part is all up to me now. Getting my broken down (and fixed up!) ass out there again. 

Which brings me to another lesson:  I live in San Francisco, a city with one of the best transit systems anywhere.  Why do I need to spend  a lot of my income on paying for a (very nice 2007 Honda CRV) car?  Time to give it up, at least for now. Makes for a few problems with acting auditions, but overall it's not a big deterrent.  Big problem with that, though.  I have had a foot problem, a neuroma, on my foot that prevented me from walking long distances.  Giving up the car meant that I had to do what my Orthopedist told me what would have to be done.  Foot surgery.

This was a total drag.  I already had surgery this year on my left elbow in March.  It was tough enough to have arm surgery while alone, but foot surgery without a car is damn hard alone, not to mention that I live on top of a very steep hill.  I reluctantly had the foot surgery and it was very difficult.  But I also found out, most important of all of my 2010 experiences, that I had some amazing friends, some who came almost out of nowhere, to help me through my toughest times.  I am now a happy carless San Franciscan who can go anywhere with my Clipper pass and a taxi.  So far, so good!

Now, all this time, I started to become a big Facebook user.  Oh, holy moly, what can I say?  For one, I renewed old friendships, started ones with people I knew but didn't know before, and people you thought you knew but saw them all growed up and what an eye-opener that is!  Then I meet friends of friends, all fascinating, some are fellow actors, politics freaks, some get closer than I ever could imagine, some are gone....  What a variety of lives and experiences to share!  The best thing is seeing how we are all different yet really, really, absolutely so much alike.  Our loves and tragedies, our fears and anxieties, our sacrifice and happiness. That is very comforting to me. Facebook gives me a place to go, the social experiment that really works for me.

Which brings me back to the best things I learned in 2010, The Year of the Dragon, the year of Facebook, the great learning experience for me as a newly single man in my new life:  1- I am not alone!   And, 2- there are an awful lot of very smart people out there!  Oh...and, 3- I can't believe how much free porn there is on the internet (hey, newly single GUY here!).....!

Peace,
Happy New Year,
Ken